It’s #ThankfulThursday and I’m patting myself on the back because I’m actually posting it. That’s… about the extent of my capacity right now. I feel like my brain has just given up and dropped me into this gray zone of depression where I don’t want to do anything. Sometimes I cry, or have a panic attack, or get really angry – but those times are a nice break from the general malaise I feel. I’m usually the type-A overachiever insomniac, and now it’s an achievement when I manage to crawl out of bed and show up at my day job. Once I’m home and my kid is in bed… I can barely summon the energy to clean the kitchen up (on the nights I actually do). Usually I lay down in bed and watch Netflix until I pass out, often before 10pm, which is NOT ME AT ALL. I don’t feel like me. I feel like a loser and a failure, which I know is the depression talking, but I just don’t have the energy for anything. I don’t like this person at all. I’ve finally decided that since workouts aren’t providing any kind of natural boost, I’m going to try some meds. Hell, I already have xanax for the anxiety attacks, why not toss an anti-depressant into the mix? Chemical cocktails for everyone! I know some of you have been asking how I am and ^that^ is pretty much the update. Luckily, there are plenty of hotties out there to distract us from how terrible I am, and this guy is a good one. Enjoy. <3
